The wonders of hormones

Before I started my hormone replacement therapy I was a bit apprehensive towards the changes that would come. All the expected physical changes felt right, but the possible psychological changes were intimidating to me. My fears were needless, so far I’ve almost all the changes I wanted and none of the unwanted!I got my first injection of Nebido six weeks ago and my second one today. Usually FtMs in Sweden are first prescribed a testosterone-gel to be applied daily, but I have a young child that the gel might smear of on so both the endocrinologist and I felt it were safer to start on injections straight away. 

To get you an idea of what has changed for me thus far, I’m writing you a list based on the expected changes for FtMs on testosterone, published by the Swedish medical government. Note that all changes with testosterone are individual and that treatment with hormones should be managed by an endocrinologist.

Deeper voice

My voice is noticeably deeper, but not yet in the male range as I still get misgendered a lot by people who don’t know me. The change probably started right away as my wife and I could detect changes after only a week. I’ve read about people feeling the change starting just a few hours after the first injection, but it’s been very un dramatic for me. Over all I haven’t felt anything changing, I’ve just woken up one day to realize things has happened after all.

Increased hair growth, facial and body hair
The only thing I’ve detected on this front is that I might have more armpit hair. This is one of those changes I know will take a long time. Most people will say that it will take the same time for a FtM to get male facial hair as it takes for a boy going through puberty. So I’ll look at 7-10 years until I can grow a proper beard. On the other hand I’ll be happy just to be able to produce a “5 o’clock shadow” and hopefully that won’t take as long.

Defaulted menstruation

Unfortunately not yet. According to the endocrinologist this can take roughly three months, and for some it never stops…

Enlarged clitoris

Well, yes. Quite a lot to, at least compare to what I was expecting. My estimate is around 1/2 inch of growth. The funny thing is that it’s starting to look more and more like a penis as it grows.

Decreased mammary glands

Definitely, I’m starting to look more and more like a man with manboobs that used to be overweight. And I’m happy about is. So happy actually that the idea of going topless in the garden has passed my mind a couple of times this summer. And then I remember how many people that have a direct view of our garden, like the people in the apartment complexes on three sides of it.

Redistribution of body fat
Yes, I’m loosing a lot of fat on my tummy, hips and face. However I can’t see that it’s redistributing somewhere, to me it just looks like loosed body fat at the moment. However my genetic heritage grants me a nice bear-belly when I turn 50 weather I drink bear, eat healthy and exercises or not. There’s a nut for me to crack; how to break this trend dating at least three generations back on my fathers side. Let’s hope I’ve got more of the better genes from my mother’s side!

Decreased proportion of body fat to muscle mass

Well, more like plumping up like a bodybuilder (well, a slight exaggeration, I still look scrawny). When I was younger I was a dancer and had phenomenal strength in my legs – and like most female dancers none in the arms. It’s said that the muscles you build as a teenager are easier to rebuild later on in life and that has certainly been the matter for me, until now. Suddenly I have these arm muscles that I couldn’t even dream of when I was working out, lifting weights etc. as a female. And I’m not even that athletic these days, I walk the dogs, carry around our daughter and keep the household, and that routine hasn’t changed since my daughter was born! I’m in love with all of my muscles and I can see why so many people are tempted to use it as doping.

Oily skin and acne

Hard to tell, I do have slightly more acne but that might be due to the warm summer weather too.

Increased perspiration

Not noticeably.

Male decreasing hairline

None yet. There’s a genetic factor playing in this one too, and it looks like I’m going to keep my hair for a long time. But either way, I don’t mind. It’s MALE hair loss after all!

Long erections
Nope.

Vaginal dryness

None.

The governments list of possible changes with testosterone treatment does not include psychological changes but some people describe it like going through puberty a second time and that they experience the same emotional state as they did the first time. Some people describe psychological changes that our society claim to be typically manly, like not being in touch with ones feelings as much and have anger outbursts. 
For me it’s been… Just like usual. I don’t feel any different at all and people around me doesn’t notice any changes either. My fear of becoming a hormonal monster (like an angry teenager or pregnant woman) has not come true. At least not yet.

4 thoughts on “The wonders of hormones

  1. Nice to have you writing again, Fredrik and great to read the mainly positive outcome of the t injections. I am so happy for you, even if topless in the garden will have to wait – we don’t want people toppling from apartment windows while trying to get a better view, do we? 😀 Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, no! It’s the main issue with our garden – lack of privacy. Neighbors can peek into it from all sides as we live in a junction with apartment complexes on three sides and another house on the fourth. I don’t mind people seeing our garden, or us in it, it’s just the number of people and the fact that we don’t know them that bother me.
      But I’ll go topples soon enough!!!

      Like

  2. Glad to hear things seem to be going well on the HRT front 🙂

    Obviously I’m going through an entirely different change so I can’t really compare, but personally I have found myself feeling very teenage puberty-ish at times. Mood swings and angsty music galore!

    Like

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