Cozy Thursday

We swedes like routines, we like it when life is predictable and everything is in order. We stand in queues, wait for our turn and we like to know what’s on today’s menu. We like it so much that we collectively decided what kinds of food we should eat on what days. Monday’s are for minced meat, Tuesday’s for fish, Wednesday’s are for pork, Thursday’s are for soup and Friday’s are for chicken. Saturday’s don’t really have their own dinner food, but everyone knows that you eat candy on Saturdays… And on Sunday’s you eat beef. Boring you say? Nice, relaxing and comfortable we say. Some of the activities we do on certain weekdays have even made it into our language. For example we have “little Saturday” or “maid Saturday” on Wednesday’s. It’s a time when you go out after work with your colleagues. It called “maid Saturday” because it was the only night the maids were free. We have “soup-lunches” arranged by the churches for the elderly every Thursday across the country and then the all-so-important weekend starts with its nice routine. On Fridays the housewives or maids (back in the days when they still existed here) used to clean the whole house, preparing it for the parties held for friends on Friday evenings. Saturday’s the kids/family’s day, a time for kids birthday parties from three to six o’clock, “Saturday candy” and family time by the Telly with the “Saturday movie”. On Sunday’s you visit your extended family to have “Sunday dinner” at one o’clock. Again, it’s nice to know what to expect, isn’t it? But lately things have changed. People are working so much that they don’t have the energy to go to parties on Fridays. When the working week’s finally over, all they want to do is having quiet family time. So people started eating taco and having “Saturday candy” on Fridays, and calling it all “Cozy Friday”. Then on Saturdays, we suddenly had the energy to host and go to parties, but this time the kids are invited too. Sunday’s are no longer a time for big family dinners, but a day for house work like cleaning, mowing the lawn and cleaning the windows. Least to say, I’m confused. I don’t like the idea of having minced meat on Fridays. On what day should we eat chicken now? And when should we have beef? And what about “Saturday candy” you CAN hear by the name on it that you should eat it on Saturdays only and now we’re suddenly having it on Fridays?! But maybe I shouldn’t say too much as I’m standing here preparing my family’s “cozy Thursday” with Swedish chocolate balls with my wife shopping for chips and soda on her way home from work. At eight o’clock our favorite tv-show starts…So why do we, creatures of habit, break the routine like this you ask? Well, when we first moved in together my wife was working night shift Fridays and Saturdays and we felt the need to have at least one “cozy night”, and so the “cozy Thursday’s” was born. When we started to study we continued to have our family time on Thursdays as we spent most weekends on the road to visit family and friends (we lived three hours away at that time). Today we live close to our families and work only during weekdays, but our “cozy Thursdays” have stuck with us. With the work climate here people no longer have the energy to visit friends during the weeks, and we have no energy to clean the house or do any gardening, so everything is crammed in on weekends. This weekend we have no less than five visits to look forward to, I need to mow the lawn, clean the floors and dust the whole house. And there’s nothing good on TV. Thursdays has proven to be the best weekday for us to do something by our selves, no one has ever booked us on Thursdays – maybe it’s because they’re all tired after just having soup for lunch 😉

So I’ll better finish up here, it’s time for dinner and my wife’s on her way home. I wish you all a very cozy Thursday!

Oh, and my name is now legally changed! Amazingly it only took three days!!! Now I just have to order a new driving license, bank card and other membership cards with the right name, everything else is done automatically. 

14 thoughts on “Cozy Thursday

      • I went to the District State Court in Santa Fe to file a petition for a legal name change. There were 5 forms I needed to have which I downloaded from the State Supreme Court website. !. Petition for name change, 2 request for court date (at least 30 days after request), 3 form for legal notice in newspaper 4 proof of publication (returned from newspaper after publication) and 5 order for name change with 5 originals to be signed by judge. I showed up in court on my date, explained the reason for my change (I’m transgender and wish to have a feminine name) present proof of publication and 5 originals to court clerk to be signed and stamped by judge. 1 copy went to County Clerk where I also updated my voter registration, 1 copy to Social Security office, 1 copy to MVD along with form for gender change signed by doctor. I could fax copies to credit card companies, medical insurance carrier and elsewhere as needed. Although my name on medical records were updated from insurance card, my medical gender change required letter from surgeon who performed SRS. The US State department allowed my new gender marker be female with doctors certification that I was undergoing transition and they issued me a 2 year passport. After returning to US, with a surgeon’s letter and my current passport, it was updated to 10 year passport free of charge. Although I got a new deed to my home under my new name after my spouse died the mortgage papers still remain in my original name despite all efforts to update it. I have yet to amend my birth certificate but all I need to prove citizenship and DOB is my passport.

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      • Crazy! I applied online, no extra papers were needed since I use an electronic identification. Everything is connected via our national identification number to a database where everyone get their information on my name, address, family, birthplace and so on, so it runs pretty smooth. (Not everyone can get all your information) My bank account, doctors papers, different address registers online, memberships in different stores and even papers to apply for a new driving licence and identification card is automatically changed or sent to me. Unfortunately you have to change your number when you change your legal gender as the number is gendered and then the problem starts… Since everything is connected via your number, it’s no longer connected when you change it. People are learning to deal with it, but certain databases cannot deal with the change. Like the doctors and social security’s programs that refused to register a male number as pregnant. They do work around it, but it’s seen as a big embarrassment when the technology isn’t flexible enough for real life.

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  1. I like your weekly routine. Other than religion based routines, there aren’t that many in the US (e.g. Friday night Shabbos dinner or Sunday after church early supper) and Donna and I are not observant. Our main routine is going our for sushi after couple’s therapy.

    Great that you got your name change so quickly and easily, and many happy years as Fredrik. I found it easier to insist that people call me Jamie once I had the legal papers in hand, particularly at work and in places like the doctor’s office.

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