Sock partner

I’ve got a new partner on my wife’s initiative, and we’ve become inseparable. As I’m coming to terms with my gender, my wife thought it would be a good idea for me to get the sense of how it would feel to have a penis. It would help her to get used to the idea as well… She promptly made a packer of socks before I had time to say yes and then I wore it all day. And the next day, and the day after that… At first it just felt awkward – like having socks in your pants, but after a while I just felt very comfortable and manly. I liked it so much that I haven’t been without a packer since.
One unexpected consequence of using a packer is that it affects my posture and walking to be more manly. It’s much easier to “get it right”, before I had to be aware of how I was positioning my body at all times but now it just comes naturally. This let me feel more secure as I know that my body-language won’t give me away instantly. Those two combined – body-language and assertiveness – has made it possible for me to pass a few times. Women still see me as a woman, but men have had a tendency to at least treat me like a man lately. My chiropractor (yup, my back is still a mess) have met me multiple times, but all of a sudden he couldn’t get my name right. My name is very similar to a boy-name, the only difference is one additional letter and the intonation. He started by calling me to the room and then asked me if he had my name right. I told him my name and he repeated the male version, I tried to correct him and he replied the male version and so on a few times… Somewhere halfway through the process I wanted to do a face palm. Not because he couldn’t get it right, but because I persisted with the female name. How stupid can I be? I’m trying to pass as a man and then insists on being called a female name!? I should be glad he saw me as male and be happy with whatever male name he want to call me!
A similar thing happened a few days later when I dragged my heavily pregnant wife to a trans-meeting/café an hour and a half away. The group meets at a normal restaurant so all participants must make their way through the dining hall to a back room (which could be daunting, but it’s a lively restaurant and no one seemed to notice the people coming and going regardless of gender expression). When we entered the room we started the normal process of meet and greet. Hands forward and exchanging our names. It wasn’t until I held the first hand in mine that I realized how stupid it would sound when I introduce myself with my birth name. In a place where everyone uses their chosen name and in a place where it’s safe to use any name you wish I start of by using a female name! Again – face palm… Of cause they couldn’t get my name right either, but at least this time I didn’t correct them.
And all this just because of a little thing in my pants…

3 thoughts on “Sock partner

  1. Sounds like your sock is “like a string around your finger” reminding you that you are trans. Have you picked out a name yet or are you going to go with the male version of your female name?

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    • Well, thats a hard question. I’m trying to figure that one out at the moment. Choosing a name for our baby was just the little spark that I needed to get started on the name issue. A post on the matter will follow!

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