In the shop

I have no problems being the person I am. I prefer to wear masculine clothes, people who see me couldn’t miss it. They cannot miss the fact that I have breasts either, which immediately places me in the category “female”. But I don’t feel like I’m a woman, or man either for that matter. Normally this is not a problem, I spend all my time with people that either know everything there is to know about me or simply don’t care (in a good way). My colleagues belong to the last group. It would never cross their mind to comment or ask anything about my appearance. I am the way I am, sometimes I get a haircut and sometimes I change my style. As long as I seem happy they seem to reason that it’s nothing to care about. Maybe it’s because I work with men only?
No, I just have problems in very specific situations. Like in the clothes store. It is still really, really hard for me to walk into a shop, find a shop-assistant and ask for help to find new clothes. From the men’s department. That fit me and don’t make me look like a woman. This is mostly because it is so obvious that I’m not a man and that I feel the need to explain myself in any way. Fortunately, most shop-assistants in the men’s department are men and whatever they think of me, they do not show it. I am forever thankful for that, it makes the whole process of buying clothes much easier for me, and it will definitely make me come back. In the checkout, on the other hand, there are almost only women, women who haven’t seen me trying on the clothes in the men’s department. Since the clothes I buy don’t match my biological gender, I have to live with the fact that they thing I’m shopping for someone else. “Dou you want it giftwrapped?” is a question I get (all to) often. This is not a question I get when I buy women’s clothes dressed in women’s clothes, so why do I get the question when I buy men’s clothes dressed in men’s clothes?
Anyway, 45 minutes of shopping resulted in a new, lovely and wonderful pair of jeans, two polo shirts, a t-shirt and a checkered shirt (!). I, who told myself to never wear a shirt on an everyday-basis – but to my defense it wasn’t me, but my wife who picked it out. It is really fun to watch how engaged she is in my transformation, more than I ever could believe or hope for and almost more than myself sometimes. She is always saying how great it is to see me so comfortable with myself and that I seem to be much happier now than for a long time. It warms me to hear this and makes me even more determined to continue my transformation without ever compromise my person based on what other people might think.
After the intense shopping my very tired and very pregnant wife so bravely took part in, we finished the day by eating supper at a local restaurant. Good food outdoor a mild autumn evening in the middle of the week, jut my wife and I. It felt like having a holiday again!

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